Only yesterday was the time of our lives
by Addie's Practice
Summary: Addison and Derek's marriage fell apart, now they're facing a very messy divorce. A different take of what we saw in the show.
1. Life after you

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy and its characters, they belong to Shonda Rhimes. The name of the story is a line from the song "Someone like you" By Adele**

**A/N:** Hey you guys! I'm back with this new story, it's based in the third season of the show, the difference is that we won't see the very pacific divorce Addison and Derek had on the show because there's no such thing like it, here you'll see how messy things could be after it and if there's a way to fix things during this painful process. I'm co-writing this story with the awesome **BadassGenius. **We really hope you like it

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><p>Addison Montgomery-Shepherd had always been a very successful woman, she always knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it. When she walked in to a room every single person could notice it and everybody who knew her could say she had the perfect life. She got married during Med School with this very handsome man, also a doctor. They were both world-class doctors in their fields, everybody could say she had it all<p>

But in this particular night Addison herself realized that everything that everybody thought about her life was completely a mistake. She had known that her marriage was falling apart since the moment she cheated on her husband, but now she was trying really hard to fix things on her marriage. She knew that Derek wouldn't forgive her easily but she was a fighter, she wouldn't give up on Derek. But tonight she knew that her whole life was about to change in a way she never thought. She had never imagined that her husband would have preferred a slutty, not even pretty, intern over her.

Since she had moved to Seattle, particularly those last few days she could swear that she and Derek were gonna get over "the affairs". In the last few weeks, she had thought that they were making progress in their relationship. After he apologized for the way he treated her in New York and promised he was working out, Addison really believed they were finally coming out of this dark place where they had been in this last year.

But tonight she figured she was wrong, few days ago she was starting to suspect there was something between her husband and Meredith Grey. Addison knew that her husband and his mistress had been fooling around even after Derek decided to stay with her but she decided to just ignore it. She felt afraid that she could lose her husband and this time forever. The day of the prom she was happy that Derek asked her to go with him, but her happiness didn't last very long. After finding someone else's panties in your husband tux, you know that it is really over. And the feeling that gets you is something so painful that hits your soul so badly that you wish you could die.

The following days after that famous Prom night, she had to face the breakdown of her marriage with someone she had spent all her adult life with. Now she had to let it all go, she knew that Derek wasn't the same guy she got married to but she still loved him as much as when she first saw him. That would have never changed. Deep in her heart, she also hoped that he still loved her the same way she loved him but after Prom night Addison was sure enough that his feelings for her had moved, that his love for her wasn't there anymore.

But realizing that Derek didn't feel the same way now, seeing him with his now girlfriend in every single place of the hospital made her doubt everything she had thought about her marriage. She started to realize that she was only an obligation and that Derek was just trying to be the good guy trying to make it work.

Seeing Derek and Meredith together made her sick, she wanted him to be happy just not with his mistress. Since she had found out that her husband cheated on her, she was broken. She needed to feel like there was still a reason to live for, she needed to feel loved and wanted but she knew that Derek wasn't the guy for this, not anymore.

So she did what it was expected, after getting severely drunk, she called Mark Sloan to tell him everything that had happened between her and Derek. He immediately left everything and took the first plane to Seattle, he knew that Addison needed him

She slept with Mark as soon as she saw him walking through the door of her hotel room and she couldn't deny that Mark made her feel a lot better about herself, but she was still thinking about her failed marriage, legally she was still married and she knew it was wrong, but at this point she only wanted to forget Derek

The next day, she decided it was time to talk to Derek about the divorce but as soon as she checked her e-mail she saw an email from Derek telling her the details about the divorce and the day when they were supposed to meet the lawyer to sign the papers. That was all, not even a greeting or even a call. It was like he wanted to forget her as soon as possible because he wanted to move on with his own life, with this new girlfriend of his.

At the hospital, she always saw Derek but they didn't talk. Not even when Mark, few days after Addison's call, decided to go to work there at the Seattle Grace Hospital, and Derek wasn't exactly happy about this sudden decision of Mark.

After a week avoiding each other, mostly because she didn't want to see Derek with Meredith now that he was free to be in a relationship with her, both Addison and Derek went to the meeting with their lawyer to finalize their divorce and finally do what they wanted to do, move on with their lives

"Derek says that neither of you brought your assets into the marriage" Mr. Andrew Foster, the lawyer of both Addison and Derek, cleared

"Well, I had my trust fund. And a sparkling personality. And the futon couch" Addison said, trying to joke. It was a very sad day for her and she was trying her best to not to fall apart

"Yes, Addison had a very ugly, very heavy futon couch" Derek mentioned

"What happened to that couch?" Addison asked, knowing the answer already

"We gave it to Mark. She can have him." Derek said, looking at the lawyer. He thought that he might actually feel uncomfortable with this but being a divorce lawyer for twenty year this was absolutely nothing

"I don't want him" Addison said, looking down

"Ok, so that's settled. What else?" Derek immediately said, he needed to leave this place as sooner as he could

"Aside from Addison's trust fund which will remain in her name, we'll spilt everything, stocks, bonds, 401K's down the middle. The only thing that gets complicated is the real estate" Mr. Foster told the soon-to-be-ex-husband-and-wife, knowing that this was always the part when it got really difficult to split the assets

"Well, let me make this simple" Derek started, getting the attention of both Addison and Mr. Foster "I'd like to keep my trailer and the land in Seattle. Addison can keep the rest" Derek said, reading the divorce papers. All he wanted to do was finish this today, he didn't care about anything else. He wanted to leave everything behind his back as soon as possible.

"That's the house in the Hamptons and the Brownstone overlooking Central Park. That's very generous of you. So, I'll re-write the divorce papers and all I'm gonna need is your signatures to finish the process" Andrew told his client nodding and smiling professionally

"Hold on" Addison interrupted the lawyer "I don't want Dr. Shepherd's agreement" her voice came out rougher than she actually wanted.

"What are you talking about, Addison? I'm leaving you the house in the Hamptons and the Brownstone. What else would you want?" Derek slapped. He was confused, he was sure Addison would take his offer. After all, she had never liked Seattle.

"I don't live in New York anymore, so I'm gonna need a place to stay here in Seattle. Why should I buy a new house when there's a whole land waiting for me?" She admitted, looking at him straight in the eyes.

"What? You hate the land, Addison! Since you've moved here all you have done is complaining about it! You can't be serious" he raised his voice and started to gesticulate with his hands like he always did when he was nervous.

"Dr. Montgomery, are you sure about this? Dr. Shepherd was quite generous with his agreement, you wouldn't find anything better than that" Mr. Foster tried to make Addison take this but she just shook her head

"I want the land in Seattle, he can keep the trailer... You know what? I take that. I also want the trailer, I've always wanted to blow it myself so it'd be fun to do it... And Mr. Foster, I'm sticking with his last name so you don't have to call me Dr. Montgomery"

"Addison, what are you doing? Why are you acting like this? I thought we would be civil about this" he growled.

"You and I civil after this? Come on! How can you even ask me to be civil with you? After the way you've treated me! I found your mistress' panties in your jacket, you can't ask for an easy way out, Derek! So yes, I want the land in Seattle. You can't always get want you want, Derek" she hissed. Her eyes were furious. Nobody knew that, deep inside, Addison was shattered and she was trying her best not to breakdown.

"Can you give us a minute alone, please?" Derek asked the lawyer, who simply nodded leaving his two clients alone in the office and knowing that they were about to have a huge fight. After all the divorces he had worked with, he knew that there was no such thing as a friendly divorce, and he knew that if they were gonna fight for the real estate, it wasn't gonna be easy.

"I refuse to tell you anything if the lawyer's not here" Addison simply said to her soon-to-be ex-husband

"Just listen to me. I know I've screwed up but we were living a lie, Addison! We didn't love each other anymore, the only thing we needed to do was accept that our life together was over a long time ago. I know I shouldn't have slept with Meredith but we don't really need to do this"

"I did love you, Derek. That's the problem. You didn't even try to make it work! You've made me go through hell these last months! You've treated me like if I were shit under your shoes and I kept my mouth shut because somewhere deep down I knew that I deserved it. If you didn't want to be with me why did you even take me back in the first place? Oh right! You wanted to be the good guy who makes think everybody he forgave his cheater-wife. You wanted me to be the adulterous bitch who doesn't give a shit about her husband and then all of a sudden comes here to destroy the new perfect life of her so called husband!" she quickly cleared her voice because she was starting to lose it. Her eyes had started to burn due to the tears she had been holding for so long.

"You know that's not true, Addison" He lied. She was actually right, she knew him too well to even know what he hid from her. "I, I did want to make it work but-" Addison interrupted him

"But it wasn't enough because I can't compete with Meredith Grey! I wish… I just wish you did never give me hope! Call me naïve if you want, but I did want to make things work. Apparently, you've never wanted it. So, you know what? Go back to your perfect twelve years old girlfriend!" She felt like she wanted to cry but she couldn't allow that, not right now "You know what? You better find yourself a lawyer since Mr. Foster has always worked for my family"

"You know there is no reason to do this"

"Let's see what the judge says about that… You've made my life miserable this last month, Derek! You made me think I had a chance when I never had it, now stick to the consequences. You've ruined my life, Derek Shepherd, and I'm so going to ruin yours. Deal with it." she stated. Her eyes, full of repressed tears, were shining a deep glacial light.

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><p><strong>AN-** So this is the prologue, please tell me what you think... You hate it you like it? Just review and tell me


	2. Great Expectations

**A/N**: Hey I'm so sorry it took me a while to update this new chapter but I've been filled with exams and school is being just annoying! But here you have the new chapter of the story and I hope you like it! Oh, And thank you so much for your super kind reviews! BadassGenius and I are very happy that you like the idea of this story!... We hope this chapter is worth the wait!

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><p>After their very awkward meeting with the divorce lawyer, both Addison and Derek went back to the hospital, trying to get over all the drama in the lawyer's office. Derek never expected to see Addison acting the way she did , he expected they would finish the process without any kind of trouble between them and after that they would be just an ex-husband and ex-wife who would constantly say hello to each other.<p>

But what happened earlier was nothing like he had imagined. He knew that Addison was right at some point but he was too proud to admit it. After spending over a decade next to Addison he would think that he knew every single detail of her, he had always thought she was very different from her family, that she was a girl who would never hurt anyone and that she would never ever do something like this.

He couldn't stop thinking about her soon-to-be ex-wife. Did he break her that bad that she wanted to hurt him taking the land in Seattle? Or even worse, the trailer? Addison must have really hated Derek right now to ask for the trailer.

"Derek? Are you listening to me?" Derek heard Meredith saying. They were sharing a table in the cafeteria but he was too busy thinking to talk to any person, even to his girlfriend

"I'm sorry Mer, I was- What were you telling me?" He simply asked

"I was asking you how was your meeting with the lawyer. Are you free now? I mean I'm not the dirty mistress anymore?" She asked smiling, expecting the answer she wanted to hear

"Things got complicated. Addison wants to take practically everything away from me and I obviously didn't agree, so the divorce won't be complete until we decide who gets each thing"

"Seriously? Isn't Addison rich enough to buy the whole state? Why would she want to take everything from you?"

"I just don't know what to think anymore… But if she wants me to fight, I swear Meredith, I don't care, she can't just take away the things I want the most, she just can't"

"What are you gonna do then?" She asked curious

"Well, I gotta find a lawyer… I don't know, I think I should talk to her first"

"You shouldn't, we've done enough. Right now you're the last person she'd like to talk to" Derek simply nodded and left

Meanwhile, Addison decided to be filled by her work so she wouldn't have time to think about the meeting. The last thing she wanted to do was starting to think that she did something bad and she knew that if she wasn't busy working those thoughts would eventually come to her head.

When she thought the day was about to get easier, she saw Mark in the nurse station, so she went there to pick up her patient's chart. Mark just looked at her expecting to hear something from her but she didn't say anything she just smiled and tried to leave

"So, I heard you got divorced today" Mark slapped. Just listening the word 'Divorce' caught Addison's attention

"What did you get? The Hamptons, right?" Addison just shook her head "Derek took the Hamptons? I can't believe it, he hates it... It's not that I care, but I left my bike in the brownstone so I wanna take it back"

"No one has gotten anything, Mark! The divorce is not finished yet, if you're interested to know. Besides that, there's nothing to tell"

"Don't tell me that you are thinking to take him back because if you do that I swear-"

"What! No, Derek and I are done, we're over. I'm not making the same mistake I have already made... All I want is Derek paying for what he's made me going through, so I'm asking to get all of his proprieties in Seattle"

"You're not seriously doing that! Why would you want that?"

"What else did you expect me to do, Mark? I couldn't just see him getting what he wants, being with his- girlfriend and being happy while I'm broken and completely alone... If you wanna take his side, that's on you! Now my patient needs a c-section and after that I have another meeting with my lawyer, so I don't really have the time to be standing here talking to you!"

Few hours later, right after leaving the hospital, Addison went back to her hotel room where she wanted to rest and try not to think about what was coming next to her, now that she practically made her own divorce more complicated than already was.

After spending few minutes alone there, only with her messy thoughts, she heard someone knocking on the door. She knew it was Mark, since he had moved to Seattle, he had been living in the same hotel as Addison, so she was getting used to his visits. After all, he was the only person, the only guy she knew she could talk to and wouldn't ever judge her. She slowly walked to the door to open it, but it surprised her that Mark wasn't the one standing behind the door

"How did you find me here?" She simply asked very distant

"I made some phone calls" Derek admitted clearing his throat, he wasn't really sure why he decided to go there to face Addison, all he knew was that he needed some answers.

"What do you want?" She asked coldly

"Are you not gonna let me come in?"

"I'd rather not to… Besides, I think I was very clear earlier when I told you that I won't tell you anything without my lawyer "

"Addison, please. I know I did something terrible. I know how you feel, I really do. But is there a reason for us to act like this? I mean, we both did things that we're not proud of, but I've never tried to hurt you. What I did that night… it was because we couldn't keep lying to ourselves, we weren't a happy couple, we haven't been like that in years, we should have made different choices, I know that"

"If you wanna tell me anything you should come to your point because I don't really have to stand here listening to you all night. I've got better things to do that standing here listening to your crap!"

"Addison, I'm trying to say my point. I'll be fast, okay?" he inhaled and exhaled deeply "I get that you're mad at me, I get that you hate me right now. But I need to remember you that you did the same thing to me and I got over it"

"You got over it? Really? Because the last thing I remember is you treating me like a completely stranger during the last years of our marriage, so I think I've earned the right to act like this" she shook her head in disapproval "You can't come here showing me your best smile and ask me to move on like nothing ever happened. You just can't!" Addison growled. She was nervous and she was getting angrier and angrier every second.

"Please, just listen to me. I hired a lawyer. She told me that I shouldn't talk to you, not in work and not trying to find you. But I think we can work this out without doing all this. I want us to move on, we shouldn't start a legal fight only because we're mad at each other, I think you should consider what I've offered you in the first place, after all you win there, after all you deserve that. I wouldn't do anything neither with the brownstone or the house in The Hamptons, you are the one who enjoys those places, not me, not anymore… And I know that maybe I'm asking you too much since the divorce is my fault, but all I'm saying is that think about the offer I made first"

"Do you think that because you came here to my hotel room, with your 'McDreamy' eyes and smile, I am gonna take back what I did? Because if that's the case, I'm really gonna start to think that I have wasted the last twelve years of my life with a guy who doesn't even know me! I don't care what you want, Derek! We're doing this because we can't even stand each other! We're doing this because you've treated me like I wasn't your freaking wife back in New York and don't get me even started about Seattle! You can't ask me to be civil with you! After we are done with this hell you are gonna be freaking dead to me!"

"If you hate me that much, why'd you keep my surname?"

"That's easy. Everything I own, including my medical license, belongs to Addison Shepherd. So, if I take off your surname I'd have to change everything. It's nothing personal, you see. It has nothing to do with you, Derek. It's because of my job, nothing more" she shrugged her shoulders, she wanted to let Derek know that his surname didn't mean anything to her anymore.

"You used to love me Addison. We were each other's best friends, I know I had a relationship with another woman and you had one night stand but I don't hate you"

"You're such a naïve, Derek Shepherd! Mark and I wasn't a one-night-stand! After you left we had a relationship, I was in love with him! I even got pregnant with his child, though I had an abortion several days after I found out when I caught him with another woman. So, you still don't hate me?" She admitted, Derek was speechless, he couldn't believe this was actually the truth. "But still, Mark Sloan is the one who put me back together! You're the one who broke me! We were trying to be Addison and Derek again and what the fuck did you do to me? What, Derek? Now tell me, how could I possibly not hate you?" she yelled, her eyes full of repressed tears "Now, can you leave my hotel room?" Addison completed

"I'll see you tomorrow at the meeting with the lawyer and just for you to have a little sneak peek, I won't only ask for the things in Seattle, I'm gonna fight really hard for you to get nothing. I can't believe I was such a stupid person by taking you back again. Just remember, you wanna do it on your way, that's fine but don't forget that you started it"

Derek left the hotel, as Addison just got back to her bed, she thought she might have done a mistake telling Derek what happened right after he left, now there is a chance that he would use it against her. She knew it was hard, she knew it was gonna be damn hard but she was gonna fight for what she wanted because she still had the expectation that at least this could go as she had planned it. She'd think that she was afraid of a situation like this, but she actually wasn't, she needed to fight back not only to get what she wanted and prove Derek wrong on many things, but to gain trust in herself and believe that she had the chance to get what she was asking for in her own way.

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><p><strong>AN**: What do you think? Do you think Addison did good on telling Derek the truth? Review and tell me what you think! I'll try to update soon!


	3. Don't you remember?

**A/N:** Hey guys! I'm so so sorry for not updating in like a lifetime, my school year was pretty hard.. I didn't think I'll be writting any time soon but now I'm in the Addek mood again so probably I'll be updating my unfinished fics since I'm on vacations now :) Thank you so much for all your reviews with this story, I didn't really think you would like this idea... AND Thanks to **Ilaria** for helping me to get this chapter done! I really hope you like it and it worth the long wait! Another thing, I don't have a beta-reader so you'd probably find some mistakes! The chapter is named "**Don't you remember**" after Adele's song. Now enjoy the chapter!

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><p>The day after was a really beautiful one in Seattle, for the first time in the year there was a cloudless sky which it only happened about twice there. But sadly, some people were too busy with their own personal stuff that they couldn't enjoy this beautiful day.<p>

After their very awkward talk last night, Addison and Derek had been avoiding each other in the hospital since later this day was their first meeting with the divorce lawyer it was preferable not to see each other until then.

Derek on his side was in an on-call room, thinking about what Addison told him, he wondered if she did it just to hurt him or because she hated him that much that she wanted to see him like this. Anyway, he couldn't stop thinking about every single word, if he would have known everything since the moment she moved to Seattle, he wouldn't have take her back, or maybe he would, he was very confused right now.

Somehow his best friend got his wife pregnant when he left, though she decided not to keep the baby, it was killing him, even though he was completely sure he didn't feel anything towards Addison anymore, this was making him go through hell.

He couldn't stop wondering how his life would be right now if he wouldn't have taken Addison back, probably he would be happy with Meredith and Addison would be happy with Mark. But it was the right choice at the time for him, he needed to believe that he tried to make his marriage work even when deep down he knew that he didn't do his best for it.

He wondered if this was all worth it, he was mad with Addison right now but was this fight worth everything they built during their decade of marriage? All that he could think right now that all he wanted was seeing Addison pay for staying with Mark and hiding it from him.

"Is there everything okay, Derek?" He heard someone interrupting his thoughts; he lifted his sight and noticed the Chief was also there sat next to him. "I usually don't pay attention to the gossip inside of this hospital, but I heard that things got complicated between you and Addie" The older man said to Derek, worried about him

"Yeah well, the divorce battle starts today if that's what you wanna know" He answered coldly to the chief

"Derek I know it's been hard for you. But once you two start with this, there is no easy way out" Richard advised Derek

"Don't you think I know that? That this is something I wanna do because I feel like? She told me everything what happened between her and Sloan. And it's not only that, Mark was like my brother. I have four sisters. Four very annoying sisters. Mark was my brother. Somehow I'm losing my wife and my brother. It's hard."

"Divorce isn't all it's cracked up to be is it?"

"I just wanted it to be easy. Move on. Get done with it as quickly as possible and be civilized with her, why can't I have that? I thought that the day of the first meeting it would all be over but now… All of this is just crazy; I never thought we would end up doing something like this… I feel like-" Derek didn't finish the sentence

"A surprising amount of pain" The chief completed "I hate to see you like this Shep, I really do, I hope you can find a way to solve this problem so both of you can move on"

"Thank you Richard" Richard's pager started to sound and he checked it.

"Well, I gotta go now, good luck later"  
>xx<p>

Addison in the other way, was finishing a surgery, she had spend all day working with Miranda Bailey trying to keep it all together and not to breakdown in front of the other doctors, after Derek left her hotel room last night, Addison realized that she shouldn't have tell him everything so now he was surely gonna use it against her, she had no other choice to allow herself to cry until she fall asleep. And now to believe that karma was biting her, she was also working with an intern assigned to work with Dr. Bailey, and there was no other person than Meredith Grey.

They've been working together all morning, and both Addison and Meredith were trying to keep it professional. But they couldn't deny they were feeling awkward by working together. After the surgery was finished, Dr. Bailey ordered Meredith to close the patient and take her to the post-op, mostly because she knew that it was being hard for Addison work with her, especially today.

"If I'd knew I was gonna work with you all day, I'd have take any other intern" Miranda told Addison while they were scrubbing out

"It's okay Miranda, you don't have to worry about it. I'm fine"

"I know it's none of my business and I should just ignore you, but you're not fine Addison, you're about to go to a court… Look at you, you look pale, like if you haven't eaten in days and I saw you throwing up this morning, this is killing you Addison" Miranda told Addison, if there was somebody who can speak the truth there, it was Miranda Bailey

"That's just because I'm nervous, that's all, it's something relatively normal and physically common!" Addison raised her voice while they were still washing her hands

"You don't wanna talk about it, fine. But you haven't even start the trial and look at you, this is gonna be really difficult, hard and long for you two, and during that you are gonna need all the support you need to get over that trial. So, if I were you I wouldn't be yelling at the few friends I have here"

"Yes, you're probably right… It's just that…" She stopped as soon as she saw Meredith going back to scrub out too

"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Bailey, I just closed the patient… As soon as I finish here I'll take her to the post up and keep you two updated about her progress and the baby's"

"Thank you Grey" Miranda told the young intern, looking at Addison expecting to also hear something from her

"Yeah, good job Grey" Meredith looked down while Bailey left the room, leaving the other two women alone there

Meredith, who couldn't deal with the awkwardness anymore decided to say few things to make herself feel better.

"Dr. Shepherd, I know this whole situation has been very strange for us, but I know Derek and he doesn't-" Addison lifted her sight arching an eyebrow, looking strangely at Meredith

"Are you sure you know him? Only because you've sleep with him several times doesn't mean you know a person, only because he claims to be in love with you doesn't mean you know any single thing about him, Grey. I'd appreciate if we keep our relationship professional and if we don't get to work together during these days would be better, so is there any other thing you would like to tell me?"

"I'm sorry, Addison"

"You did enough, trust me"

Xx

Several hours later, after a very long morning in the hospital, Addison arrived to the Municipal Court of Seattle, along with her lawyer, as soon as she got there, she saw Derek, also with his lawyer, she knew that woman, she was one of Derek's sisters' roommate in College, her name was Annabelle Rickford, she was a very good friend of the Shepherd family

"Dr. Shepherd, I need to have few words with you before we start the process" Mr. Foster, Addison's lawyer suggested as she simply nodded

"Okay, Dr. Shepherd, we had the our first meeting few days ago and we didn't get an agreement about the assets, now here we are taking our next step which is letting a jury, filled with people who doesn't know you, decide for you, it's my job as your lawyer to ask you if you're really sure about this because once we start, we can't leave the process until we get a formal agreement. You can still get your husband agreement" The lawyer needed that his client be sure about everything and it won't be only something that she'd regret later

"Yes, there is no way back" She answered very distant "Derek's agreement it's not an option here"

"Okay then, Addison. I'm not gonna lie to you, it's gonna be a really hard trial, to be honest this is one of the most difficult cases I've ever gotten, but I've worked with your family since you were a little kid and I'm not gonna let you down with this. I believe that if we know how to play this, we have a chance to win this…"

Meanwhile, Derek was also with his lawyer, who was telling him the exact things Mr. Foster was telling Addison, they needed to be sure there was no other way to fix this.

"… And since you and Addison got married really young, your assets are in Community Property, which it makes things a little bit complicated, as I'm sure your previous lawyer explained" Derek nodded clearly listening every work Mrs. Rickford was saying.

"Your case particularly it's kind of complicated since as you'd know it's not uncommon for one side to leave the marriage with more of the community property than the other, so our goal here is for you to get the properties you got during your eleven years of marriage…"

"Twelve" Derek cleared

"Oh, I'm sorry, the records said it's eleven"

"Yes, only that next month would be twelve"

"Okay, like I was saying… The decision of 'who gets what' depends of numerous factors: Earning capacity, which in your case it's not an issue, fault grounds such as adultery or cruelty, where we have the problem and where things get complicated since both of you had relationships with other people, plus various other factors that the judge may consider… It isn't as simple as it may first appear… I've had similar cases and my firm has a very good record with divorce cases like this one. That said, I need to ask you again, not only because you're my client but because you're my best friend's little brother so, are you completely sure about this? If there is something you don't wanna do or any doubt you have now it's the time to tell me, remember that it's imperative to discuss everything with your attorney before going in front of a judge"

While the attorney began to explain every single detail of the trial about to start, naming all the assets that once belonged to the Montgomery-Shepherd marriage, Derek couldn't stop feeling nostalgic about this whole thing, if there was something he thought he was sure, it was that he'd never ended like this with Addison, they used to be inseparable, they completed each other, now all they want is to ruin each other lives which it's almost unbelievable considering they once were the happiest couple, best friends and the love of each other's lives

"… I think we'll start with the Brownstone in Central Park…" The lawyer kept explaining to Derek, without even notice, a sad smile appeared on his face, remembering the days he and Addison used to spend there and how much they loved that place before the breakdown of their marriage started

**-FLASHBACK, NEW YORK, 1994-**

Derek Shepherd and Addison Montgomery were about to get married in few days, they were practically insane because of all the planning of their very extravagant wedding, mostly because Bizzy was the wedding planner and she wanted it to be something worth to remember, she was taking care of every single detail of the wedding without even consider Addison's or Derek's opinion.

The soon-to-be husband and wife were barely seeing each other because all the stress of the wedding, they barely saw in the wedding rehearsal and barely spoke complaining about how their wedding seemed to be everyone's but theirs.

But this day, Derek decided to steal his fiancée for all day, he needed her with him and have a get-away before all the pre-wedding stress would drive them totally insane, he took her to have lunch in a very fancy place overlooking the central park, they had a very romantic dinner like they haven't had since Derek proposed and right after they started to walk down Central Park holding hands, knowing that Addison loved that.

"It feels like a lifetime since the last time we did something like this" Derek admitted to his fiancée whispering in her ear after gave her a very soft kiss on her check

"I know! I thought we would enjoy planning out wedding, what I didn't know was that my mother wanted that our wedding would be very Price-Charles-and-Diana like, thought I'm glad that it'd be next week! Honestly not because of all this, but I can't wait to be your wife! I mean, I've been waiting for this since the day we met" She told her future husband as they both laughed a little

"It's okay, it's not that stressing once you get used to it… And for the record, the one who is anxious to be married is me! I mean, look at you who wouldn't be excited knowing that Addison Montgomery would be his wife!" Addison simply smiled as they kept walking down Central Park

"I'm serious Addie, I can't wait to be with you, I know we live together anyway but now you're gonna be my wife, we'd be officially a family and we'd be like that _for everyday until eternity" _He quoted a little part of the song he wrote to sing at the wedding though she had no idea of it "I know I've say this a lot but you really make me the happiest men alive and I feel so lucky that now you'd be my wife" He stopped walking and smiled plenty looking at his future wife who had no idea why he suddenly stopped right in front of one of the brownstones

"When I'm with you it feels like I'm dreaming, Derek… They way you've made me feel those years that we've been together it's totally amazing, I never thought I would ever feel this way for anyone, I'm glad we took this day off to share each other's company, I really missed this kind of stuff and I hope we get to do it more often after we came back from the honeymoon" She smiled "Honey, we should keep going, I wanna go home and take a really long and relaxing bath with my very handsome future husband" Addison laughed and tried to walk but Derek held her hand and stayed there still smiling "Is there everything okay honey?" She asked

"That's what I wanted to show you, in the moment I saw it I knew it said Addison-and-Derek in every single part of it… It's perfect for us! And since now I can afford this kind of stuff I wanted to surprise you with this…" He pointed at the brownstone behind them "This would be our place, our home, where we'd spend our years together, where hopefully our children will grow up and where you and I are gonna spend our years of our married life"

Addison looked at the house while Derek was speaking, she couldn't believe that her future husband would do this, she didn't expected him to get her a brand new house at least not for now, she thought they would live in their apartment they've been sharing for few years

"Oh my God! This is… This is perfect Derek… I can't… I can't believe you would do something like this… This is amazing! I… I love it! I think this is the biggest gesture someone would've ever had with me! Honey, I love you so much!" She could barely talk and almost crying of happiness, she was completely amazed with this early wedding present.

"Hey Addie, it's okay… I promised your father when I proposed you that you'd have the best! And that's what I'm doing! You don't need to thank me because it's something I feel like, I wanna make you the happiest woman alive and that is all about" He took her in his arms seeing that Addison was still speechless and very surprised because of this, he kissed her softly in her lips and smiled with his particular dreamy smile.

"Come on, future Mrs. Shepherd! Let's take a look over our new home! I'm pretty sure you'll love it even more once you see it and I'm completely sure you'd find a nice bathtub where we could take that really hot and relaxing bath you were talking about"

Addison kissed him back and simply smiled, she couldn't even express how happy she was at the moment, she couldn't find words to thank her fiancée for all this "I love you Derek… Right now I'm pretty much in shock, but I promise I'll find a way to thank you for all this" She said still smiling

"I love you too Addie… Now let's go to start our life together in this brownstone"

**-END OF FLASHBACK-**

"Derek… I'm asking you that if we should start asking the Brownstone, that is a very nice property you belong since you two are fighting to get the whole thing…." The lawyer noticed Derek was sort of distant and indifferent "Are you sure you're okay? Because to be honest, you don't really seem very good, I know it's a divorce trial and you can't be all smiley but you have to show a pretty good face to the judge if you want to win this"

Derek was still thinking about the day he got the brownstone for his wife and now it all seemed such a waste, a part inside of him wanted this to be over and get his life back, but another huge part of him wanted to hurt Addison for what she did, for staying with Mark and for even getting pregnant with her mistress baby, he couldn't stop this now

"I'm fine… I'm ready to get things started" Derek coldly answered

Meanwhile, Addison's lawyer was telling her exactly the same speech about being sure about this before starting the trial, once they started there wasn't a easy way out "So, Dr. Shepherd, for one last time, are you completely sure you won't take your husband's first agreement, his lawyer says it's still on if you want to take it… With all due respect, but you don't seem to be the kind of woman who lives in a trailer in the middle of nowhere" Addison looked cold and distant, immersed on her own thoughts thinking about one particular day as the lawyer spoke.

**-FLASHBACK, SEATTLE, 2005- **

It has been now one month since Addison Shepherd moved her whole live to Seattle in intent of winning back the love of her husband, she was staying in an hotel during their couple therapy sessions because she didn't want to push Derek to forgive her, she wanted him to have his own space where he could still hate her before he could forgive her.

But this day, Derek finally asked her to take her to the place he's been living since he left New York, she was happy considering this was a huge step in their very broken relationship. After they both end their shifts at the hospital, Derek took her to this place, she had no idea where were they going but still she was happy Derek wanted her to see this place since few weeks ago they weren't even speaking.

After almost one hour of road, they've finally arrived to this forest and saw the small trailer in the middle of it, Addison looked at her husband arching an eyebrow "Please tell me you're joking"

"I'm not; this is where I live now… I told you I'm not the same guy anymore, you can take it or leave it" He simply said without even look at his wife

"Really Derek? I can take it or leave it? How is it possible that you live in a trailer? I mean I get that you've changed and you're on your right to do it… But this? This is…. Not you!" She argued crossing her arms looking at the trailer

"Like I told you at couple therapy, if you want me to take you back, I'll take you back here in Seattle! I don't pretend to move back to New York… So my intention of bringing you here is showing you I'm not the guy you're used to! So, if you wanna make this work which I assume you want, this is where I live"

Addison sighed and without saying any word she went out and walked slowly to the trailer with Derek behind her, watching how small it was compared to their other houses. "I guess I could give it a try" She admitted in resignation "But this doesn't mean I am going to love this place, I hate it already" She said giving a bad look at her husband

"You're on your right to hate it as much as you want" He answered coldly, knowing he was doing this mostly because for compromise and no because he wanted to, while he opened the little door so they both would enter to the trailer

-**END OF FLASHBACK**-

"Dr. Shepherd, do you heard me? Are you sure you wanna take the land in Seattle? We have to start right now" The lawyer asked Addison who still was trapped in her own thoughts

"I am… Let's do this"

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><p><strong>AN**: Now tell me what do you think? Do you liked it? Hated it? Any suggestion? Just tell me! I'll update probably next week and now I really mean it :)


	4. Can't fight this feeling

**A/N**: Thank you all for the reviews! I'm glad you're still interested in this story! As I promised here's the next update, sorry if you find few mistakes I don't have a beta reader but I think it's not that bad, anyway anjoy the chapter, you'll see here the start of the trial of Addison and Derek's divorce... Very messy!

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><p>"Please state your name for the record" Addison's lawyer cleared before starting with the question he had planned to ask her, the trial was starting so as the battle of divorce and both sides were determined to win this fight.<p>

Addison was already on the witness box ready to start with the round of questions and to testify, she seemed distracted, cold and even stranger than the usual, she knew that this wasn't gonna end well, very deep down she _knew_ she _loved_ Derek and she hated herself for doing this to him. But now there was no way back, she needed him to pay for what he did to her and this was the only way he would.

"Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery Shepherd" She said out laud clearing her throat and almost immobile there, looking at her lawyer, without even looking at Derek who was there sat next to his lawyer.

Mr. Foster, Addison's lawyer approached to her and nodded right after she spoke to start asking "Why are we here today Mrs. Shepherd?"

"I want to divorce my husband, Dr. Derek Shepherd…" Even though she didn't want, she looked at Derek right after she said her name "… And we're trying to have an agreement according to the proprieties we both own which includes a house in the Hamptons, the Brownstone overlooking Central Park and a land here in Seattle" She said looking at her lawyer, thinking that she never would even imagine that Derek and her would end up like this

"Those are nice places. According to the records you were married for eleven years, how would you describe those years, Mrs. Shepherd?"

Addison thought for what second before asking knowing it was a tricky question "The first years were amazing, everything we could always have wanted… but then we got successful, he and I. We got busy and we got lazy. We didn't even bother to fight anymore, we let our marriage slowly fall apart" She admitted looking down

"I'm sorry about that… Is it true you moved to the stage of Seattle only about six months ago so you could make your marriage work?"

"I did, I moved here because my husband asked me to, I moved my entire practice and left the hospital where I worked in Manhattan to come here to Seattle, that's what our therapist told us to do and said we were making progress"

"My next question is, were you aware of Mr. Shepherd's extramarital activities when you moved in to this state?" The lawyer slapped, Derek who was watching everything couldn't still believe this, right after this question he whispered something to his lawyer as her just nodded and wrote it down for her round of questions to Addison

She took a long breath and looked at the lawyer; he wasn't supposed to say that only if there was extremely necessary "I did, I did know about it since the moment I came to Seattle and we decided to let it all behind and try to start over, that was what he promised anyway"

"So you'd say that your husband promised you would make your marriage work with you moving here and all he did was to commit adultery with his mistress?"

Before Addison could say something, Derek's lawyer stood up right after Mr. Foster finished speaking "Objection!" She said out loud "Mr. Foster is attempting against my client's honesty!"

"Denied, please answer the question Mrs. Shepherd" The judge cleared looking at Addison, expecting her answer as she just nodded

"Yes" Addison simply answered; she didn't want to say another thing against Derek, at least not right now

"No more questions your honor" Mr. Foster finished his round of questions, the judge nodded and looked at Mrs. Rickford, Derek's lawyer waiting for her to interrogate Addison, she was planning to be as aggressive as she could so her client could win this, she wouldn't give up so easily so she knew she was gonna attack Addison since her very first question.

"Mrs. Shepherd, would you consider yourself a person with good manners?" She asked looking at Addison strategically knowing all the questions she had prepared were really tricky. "Objection! What does my client's good manners has to do in a divorce trial!" Mr. Foster defended his client

"I have a point with this your honor" The judge nodded and let the lawyer finish her question "Would you say that you are a respectful woman, Mrs. Shepherd?"

"I am, like you said I was raised with good manners... Excuse me; I agree with my lawyer what does this has to do? I know we're not here to discuss how over educated I am"

"Okay, Mrs. Shepherd, as an over educated woman that you say you are, were you that respectful and/or educated as you are right now, when you committed adultery with your husband's best friend, portraying the vows you promised my client the day you got married?"

"What!" She simply said she couldn't believe this woman had the audacity of asking her this

The judge looked at her "Please answer the question Mrs. Shepherd"

Addison who was obviously nervous and almost shaking not knowing who to answer the question immediately, she thought for one second what to say and took a long breath before start speaking "At that point I wasn't thinking at all, sometimes people do desperate things to caught someone's attention… We barely saw each other, he was working extra hours at the hospital, we didn't even bother to fight anymore"

"So would you say your husband didn't pay enough attention to you and that's why you slept with his best friend? Because with all due respect, you seem like a very elegant woman and my client was only working extra hours for you to have the lifestyle you're used to" Derek's lawyer slapped again

"Objection! She's confusing my client your honor" Addison's lawyer defended her but the judge just nodded and looking at Addison waiting for her answer

"It's okay, I wanna answer that" Addison said challenging Derek's lawyer giving her a furious glance "Apparently it's not a secret here that I cheated with my husband's best friend, we all know it let's share it together… Also I stayed with him for a couple months before moving to Seattle, nice story, huh? What should've matter here is that I came here to fix my marriage, I came here practically humiliating myself by staying with my husband who was clearly over me and still ignored me even when he said he was also trying to make things work, I was called Satan and an adulterous bitch and I didn't care because somewhere deep down I knew I deserved it for what I did, I didn't care because all I wanted was to take back the love of my life and it didn't work out, even thought all the sacrifices I did, it didn't work out… For god sakes, I moved into a trailer no matter the _lifestyle_ you presume I have, I did it because it was what it took to get the chance to be with my husband again after that horrible thing I did and after the mess I made… But all that stuff were meaningless, at least for him that didn't even notice all of this, your client didn't care about his own marriage because he was living a fantasy with his mistress, not because he wanted me to have the _lifestyle _I'm used to… Is there any other question, Mrs. Rickford?"

The lawyer was speechless after Addison's words, she thought she would fall with this kind of questions what she didn't know was the kind of woman who was Addison, someone who knew how to defend herself

"No more questions your honor" The lawyer went back to her place and the judge told Addison she could also go back to hers, she went there and sat next to her lawyer as Derek was looking down since Addison started talking, he couldn't just look at Addison right now, it was too much for him.

Now it was Derek's turn to testify, he went straight to the witness box, he sight as the bailiff asked him the typical questions before the lawyers started to interrogate him. Mrs. Rickford, his lawyer was the first to start with the questions.

"Mr. Shepherd, when you resided in the state of New York, is it true that you '_stopped paying attention_' to your wife?" She asked quoting a little bit of Addison's answer

"Maybe I was a little distracted but when you have a job like mine you start to care about others more than you do it for yourself, as you can see in my records I am one of the best neurosurgeons of the country, people from all over the world come to see me to get my help… When we got married we were just starting our residency at the hospital, we were really young and we were together all the time, when we started to grow in our careers we both got successful in our own fields, she's one of the best ob/gyn and neonatal surgeon there is, we are busy people, sadly the little time we have free wasn't at the same time, so when my wife had her free time she organized everything, she made reservations for dinner, hotels and other kind of nice places, the thing was that I was working at the time, so we didn't spend a lot of time together" Derek answered his question very calmed and very distant, like he didn't care about this whole thing

"Very nice, Mr. Shepherd… When you first moved to Seattle, why did you do it?"

"I moved here almost a year ago, after I found out about… my wife's adultery, I had nothing to do back in New York, then an old colleague Dr. Richard Webber called me to offer me a position as the head of neurosurgery of the Seattle Grace Hospital, so here I am, I love my new job, I love this city and I love the properties I own here, that's why I'm here fighting for it, I love those places and I care about them"

"That's the whole point of it… My last question for you, Dr. Shepherd. Would you say that your wife, Dr. Addison Shepherd, also love and cares about those places, specifically the land in Seattle?"

"She hates it" He looked at Addison who seemed like she was gonna pass out really soon, probably because of the stress of this legal fight that was only starting "Since she moved in with me all she did is complaining about the trailer, about the land and how we needed to get a bigger place, actually we were always fighting because she didn't like the trailer and I told her that I wouldn't leave that place"

"Thanks for clear that up… My last question is, just like your wife, you had an extra marital activity, why was that?"

"As I said, I moved here right after I found my wife in my bed with my best friend, obviously I was sad for that, I came here and it seemed right, I know this might not sound good but I'm proud of what I did, I had a relationship for two months and finished right after Addison moved here"

"No more questions your honor" Mrs. Rickford went back to her place and Addison's lawyer stood up and went right in front of Derek to start with his interrogation.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd…" The lawyer started "You were married for eleven, almost twelve years with my client, would you consider yourself as a good husband"

Derek thought his answer, he knew he wasn't the husband of the year, maybe he was several years ago, but those last years, he was all but a good husband, he might have been a good boyfriend with his mistress, he was her "McDreamy" but he knew that he wasn't a good husband

"Define good husband" Derek simply answer so he would have more time to think his proper answer

"Well, be a good husband includes to be pleasant, respect the vows, be supportive to her, having sensitivity to her, show her respect, communication, love and affection, offer her protection and keep her happy in bed…. Those are few of the qualities that a good husband should have and after a long talk with my client you don't have any of it, but now I'm asking you… Would you consider yourself as a good husband, given the definition I just gave you?" The lawyers attacked him with this very tricky question

"Does it matters? If I was a good husband or no, we're divorcing, that doesn't claims how a great husband I was, maybe she was right, lately we didn't have any of it but once we did" He looked straight at Addison "You can't deny how great it used to be, I know we both screwed but we used be the best" His glance went back to the lawyer when he noticed Addison was looking down not wanting to see him "My answer, lately I wasn't a good husband, I know that but once, I was"

"You said you felt right when you started with the adultery and that you had a relationship which you ended right after your wife moved in to Seattle… You didn't keep in touch with your mistress?"

"We ended things after Addison showed up" He said now looking down, feeling uncomfortable

"So, after my client came to this State you didn't have any kind of loving relationship with her?"

"I… I…" He stammered, this was the question he was afraid of and could make him lose the trial

"Dr. Shepherd, this is the part when you answer the question I'm asking" The lawyer insisted

"We work together, it was impossible to not have contact to her" He said nervous

"So would you say that your relationship with your former mistress has been extremely professional right after your wife moved here? You didn't have any kind of loving relationship after that?" Mr. Foster attacked again, he wasn't the kind of lawyers who knew how to deal with this kind of situations and he was gonna do whatever it takes so his client win this.

"Objection!" Derek's lawyer protested "He's confusing my client!" She continued but the judge denied this petition and asked Derek to answer the question

"We… We weren't together… We decided to be friends… Close friends… And we… slept together once"

"Not only they slept together, your honor, my client also found Mr. Shepherd's mistress's underwear inside of a pocket of his jacket, she was evidence and witness to confirm that, Dr. Shepherd wanted his wife to find out about his extra marital activities so he'd get an easy way out of the marriage, he wanted to lose his wife and he wanted to divorce her as soon as possible" The lawyer explained victorious knowing he got this one right "One last question, Dr. Shepherd, were you aware that every time you went closer to your other woman you were losing your wife, who was very sorry for what she did and was willing to do anything just to have a portion of your love?"

"With all due respect Mr. Foster, but you have no idea how it was you may know all the facts but you weren't there, do you think I wanted all of this? I never thought she and I would do something like this, not ever" He was now furious with all the questions against him "I am a husband losing her wife, she was my closest friend, we met in met school together and quickly fall in love, we did everything together, we were the best of friends, our marriage lasted for eleven years until this day when it is ending… I never thought that would all disappear in less than a year, I know we were supposed to be trying but I can't control how I feel! I didn't feel the same way about her! That's what you want to know, I am not the same guy she got married, I've changed and I'm not willing to be that guy anymore!" He cleared looking at the lawyer with his furious eyes as he ran his finger through his hair, praying that this one was the last question. The lawyer just smiled at him and looked at the judge "No more questions"

After proceeding both testimonies of Addison and Derek, the judge ordered a recess of the court until the next day, when they would have another set of witness to testify, every person in the room knew this fight wasn't easy, they were both willing to win and they were sure this was gonna be a really long way for Addison and Derek Shepherd to get back at their normal lives

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><p><strong>AN**: The fight started and it's not easy.. What do you think of the chapter? Who should win this? Addison or Derek? Review and tell me! I'll update next week :)


	5. Things Change

**A/N** Hey! It took me a while to write this chapter, I just finished it today... Thank you so much for the reviews in the previous chapter, I am very glad you like this story, I thought no one would read it.. Anyway here's the next chapter of this messy story, I added something Christmas related since it was Addison and Derek's season. Oh and I hope you all had a very nice Christmas... Okay, now enjoy the chapter

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><p>After the first day of the trial was done, everyone could say that both Addison and Derek were relive that it was started and now they would be happy because they'd know what they are gonna get very soon, but this wasn't the case for any of them, after he left the court house, Derek went straight to the hospital, he needed to work, to cut brains and to save inoperable tumors, so he could hide his own problems by dealing with their patient's. After he did every single surgery he had planned for that day and few cases in the ER, he went straight to the bar and spent there the rest of the night he didn't even remember Meredith, she was the last thing on his mind right now, he was too busy trying to figure an easy way out of all this and the only solution he knew was getting drunk so he would think clearly, or at least that was what he thought. He drank practically everything and still couldn't stop thinking about Addison and how messed up they are right now.<p>

Meanwhile, after she left the municipal court of Seattle, she went to her hotel room feeling terrible, as soon as she was there she threw up everything she had eaten, the stress of this fight was killing her, after feeling literally empty she went to her bed and started to drink a glass of red wine like she always did when she's not feeling well, sadly for her, this kind of ache she was feeling wouldn't be fixed by a glass of wine, this was deeper than this, she hated how both lawyers attacked her and Derek, she had no idea this will be that hard, if she could take back the time she would just take Derek's friendly agreement and none of this would've happen but now it was too late, she was doing this and she was willing to win, she couldn't take back at this point.

After half bottle of wine she took her Blackberry and called Mark, she didn't want to sleep with him, she didn't want her mistress, she only needed a friend by her side who tells her that everything's gonna be okay and that what she's doing is fine. Mark went immediately there as he always does when she needs him, he knew Addison wasn't fine in the moment she opened the door, she was paler than the usual, she wasn't feeling well and he knew that whatever he could say wasn't gonna make her feel better.

"Hey red… You don't look good" He said very serious as he walked into the room

"If you came here to mock of my look, you can leave in this moment" She told his friend giving him a furious glance

"Okay, I'm sorry… I'm just saying… But that why I'm here, I'm gonna make you feel better" He smiled a little as he took off his shirt as Addison just shook her head

"I don't wanna have sex… I just need you, today was… hard… And I need someone by my side right now" Mark approached to her and held her in his arms as she allowed herself to cry "It was awful Mark, it was like something that you never thing it would happen to you… It was like this senseless guy took over the man who was once the love of my life" She said between sobs while Mark just listened to her, he knew that for Addison this was hard, he knew she came to Seattle hoping she would be back with her husband, he knew Addison Shepherd was a woman who always get what she wants, she was the best of the class back in med school, she was the best intern, the best resident and now she was the best on her field; she was used to get everything she planned and when it didn't happen, that feeling killed her. He also thought that probably Derek would be in the same situation as Addison because even when he claims to love another woman, even Mark knew they would always be _Addison and Derek_, and that would never change. But right now, Addison was the one who needed him the most.

Addison finished her bottle of wine and telling Mark everything what happened at the trial, she felt asleep on his arms, she was tired, she wasn't feeling well, as much as she didn't want it, she couldn't stop thinking about her husband, after falling asleep she wished it were Derek's arms holding her.

The next day, Mark and Addison went to the hospital together, but as soon as their shifts started they went apart, each one by their own side, just like her soon-to-be-ex-husband, she was filled with work, she had surgery after surgery that she barely had time to breathe, the only thing on her life that wasn't going downhill was her work and she wouldn't let that happen, if it wasn't for her job she'd probable have a breakdown by this moment.

She checked the OR board and she smiled seeing that she had a very long surgery, she went there and scrubbed in while the patient was getting ready, knowing that she wouldn't have to think about her divorce at least for the next five or six hours, she walked in to the OR and started an Intrauterine surgery to repair a congenital diaphragmatic hernia, she was very focus on her work that she didn't even notice the people who was watching her from the gallery.

Derek on his side woke up on his trailer with a terrible hangover, he felt like he wanted to die and still he couldn't stop thinking about his future ex wife, he couldn't stop asking how they got at that point. He went to the hospital not wanting to see anyone specially Meredith, since the hearing and the trial started they hadn't spoken, he didn't even feel like talking to her, maybe this thing was affecting him way too much, but since he decided to end things with Addison to finally be with Meredith, he realized things wasn't like he expected, now it should be something serious with his former mistress but now he avoided her every time he could.

He started his day just like the others, he hid in the OR performing every surgery he could, so he wouldn't have to see or talk to anyone, after few hours he needed a break, he went for coffee and saw the OR gallery, he read that Addison was doing a surgery at the moment. After a lot of thinking, he decided to go to the gallery to see Addison working, he knew she used to love that, it was one of the many thing they loved about each other, he saw her from the gallery and she did the same thing.

Without even notice, Derek was staring at Addison like he used to do in their good old days, she didn't even notice that because she was very focus on her work but Derek was looking at her, detailing every thing she was doing in the procedure while he was drinking of his coffee.

**Flashback, New York, Addison and Derek's residency**

They were good residents, no, they were the best residents of the program, they were working in one of the best hospitals in the State of New York and being the best wasn't easy, there was a lot of competition especially when there are a lot of residents wanting to be the best to impress their attendings but Addison and Derek managed to be the best.

A lot of people, even their families thought they wouldn't make it, they thought one of them would end up dropping the program, not only because it was very hard and they wouldn't stand it but working together, being newlyweds wasn't a very good thing, they thought it would tear them apart. Luckily they were all wrong, for the Shepherd marriage, working together was something they loved to do since they met in med school, they helped each other with their patients, they could complain about their resident and the most important for them, they knew how to deal after a rough day spending some time in the on-call rooms. They loved all of this.

This particular day wasn't like the others. It was Christmas Eve, the month when the whole hospital collapses for the amount of accidents because of the holidays, the doctors weren't enough to deal with all of the patients in the ER and the OR was busy all day. Besides of what happens at the hospital, it was an especial day for Addison and Derek, it was Christmas, they loved the holiday, it was their season. They didn't want to spend it trapped in the hospital but being residents didn't give them a lot of a choice, they needed to be there if they wanted to be the best.

After a lot of working in the ER with persons who felt off the roof because of the Christmas lights, car accidents and any other accident because of the holiday, Addison was resting in an on-call room, laying in the bed for five minutes before her pager started to sound again. She heard someone opened the door but she didn't even look at it.

"Addie?" She heard the only person she would get up of that bed for, she immediately recognized that soft voice and smiled "Honey, I was looking for you" Her husband sat next to her and held her hand "Were you sleeping?"

"No, no… It's okay, I was just resting before Dr. Webber decides to page me again"

"Oh, that's okay… I shouldn't bother you then… I just wanted you to know that I'm doing my first solo surgery today, apparently Dr. Mulligan is trapped in the OR with another kind of surgery and he asked me to do a craniotomy… I thought you should know" He smiled very dreamy looking at his wife

"Are you serious! Derek, that's awesome! You are so not bothering me! It's your first solo surgery on Neuro! And it's Christmas! How awesome is that? After we leave this place we are celebrating this!" She also smiled and hugged her husband very happy for him, she knew how much he loved Neuro and now he had the chance to be the best at it.

"Thank you, Addie… If you're not busy, I would like you to be there, in the gallery, just to know everything would be fine"

"I am gonna be there, you don't even have to ask me that! I don't care if Richard gets mad and I have to do enemas for the entire next year, this worths it!" She kissed him softly in his lips and got up the bed, so they could leave for the OR and Derek would start to get ready for the procedure, she knew he was nervous even though he wasn't showing it. They went walking through the halls of the hospital, holding hands as Derek explained the whole procedure to his wife, telling her every detail of it.

They came to the scrub room, Addison was still there with him who wouldn't stop talking about the procedure while he washed his hand, he didn't notice that Addison had on her hands a scrub-cap with little ferryboats on it.

"You know that you're gonna do this better than Dr. Mulligan, don't you?"

"I don't know Addie, what if I screw up this? You know, this is Neuro, is what I love… I don't want to screw up this chance" He admitted looking at Addison straight to her eyes.

"Don't… Don't say that! You are the best in here, after me of course…" She laughed, making a joke so he wouldn't be so nervous "But seriously, you won't screw this up, you are gonna be a great neurosurgeon, you are over prepared to do this, if Mulligan chose you is because you're the best" She went behind him and put Derek the scrub cap "I got this for you few days ago, it has ferry boats on it, since I know you have a thing for it I knew you were gonna love it" She smiled "You would do this and you would do this better than anyone of this hospital, and even if you don't, you get to take home the hot girl.. So either way, you would have a Merry Christmas, okay? I promise" She kissed her husband softly on his lips and smiled at him looking his perfect blue-bright-eyes, wanting him to feel better

He couldn't help but smile with Addison's words, he nodded and kissed her back, convinced now that everything turn out fine, he loved how his wife always made him feel a lot better just with staring at him and he was so glad she was gonna be there

"Thank you Addie… I'll do my best here" He dried his hands and kissed his wife on her right cheek "After I finish we'd leave this place and do something nice, I promise… Oh and Addie… Merry Christmas, I love you" He smiled as he walked to the OR to start his fist neuro surgery

"Merry Christmas honey, I love you too" She waited until he was in front of his patient to leave to the gallery, she sat there for hours watching her husband doing the surgery successfully just like she told him

**End of Flashback **

After Addison finished her surgery, she didn't notice Derek was there watching her, he knew she didn't see him, he couldn't help but remember that Christmas when they made it their thing, right now he had the need of talking to her, he didn't know exactly why but he needed to talk to her.

He left the gallery and went to the scrub room, where Addison was washing her hands, getting ready to leave the place, it was the first time he saw her in days without her lawyer. "Addie… C-can we… talk?"

She was surprised to see him there, she thought she was the last person he would want to have some words with, she did want to talk to him but she wouldn't, she needed to be rough, remembering her lawyer's words, if she wanted a chance to win the fight.

"If it's something work-related you'd have my full attention, Dr. Shepherd" She answered without looking at him in the eyes and careless

"Addie, please…" Before he could say something else, she interrupted

"Don't 'Addie' me, you know that I can't talk to you without a lawyer, I don't wanna talk to you, I don't wanna see you and I don't even wanna be in the same room as you, so you can leave me the hell alone!" She cleared raising her voice so Derek would know she was serious.

"How did we get here, Addie? We were best friends, then we thought we were the loves of our lives… Now we can't even talk?" He said looking down, with his soft voice

"What do you want? I don't have all day for you, I have a life that it doesn't includes you anymore, so I don't have to be here"

"The divorce is not finished yet, so it still includes me!" He raised his voice just a little so she could let him talk "I'm sorry… Just answer me and I'll leave and won't talk to you again if it's necessary"

"What do you want me to say? That I miss you? Because I don't… Believe or not I want to move on with my life just like you are doing it with your 12-years-old intern… You were right, we were best friend, I thought you were the love of my life, it's true… But just like you once said, things change" He nodded and lifted his sight staring at her right in her eyes, with a little sad smile

"You know, if there was a way, I wouldn't do this to you, I just want us to be okay and move on… I don't want this anymore, it's killing us, I know that is affecting you as much as it affects me… I hate that I did this to you, I don't care if you stayed and aborted Mark Sloan's baby, I was also cheating on you, I was mad as you are at me right now… I know you better than anyone and I know you don't want this…" He went closer to Addison, very close to her lips, looking at her wanting to prove Addison's lips just one more time "I know you don't wanna be surrounded by lawyers for the next days, maybe months… Let's put an end to this… Even if we're not together, I don't want us to act like we've been doing lately"

Before he could do anything else, Addison could turn back and move away "I'll see you tomorrow at court, we can talk there" She left with tears on her eyes and left Derek there who really meant everything he said.

The next day, they went to the Municipal Court of Seattle very early as the judge schedule, before seeing the judge both Addison and Derek were talking with their respective lawyers whore were explaining what they were gonna do today, after half hour of formal talking they went to meet the judge once more. The judge said the formal words before starting the trial and asked each lawyer if they had something to add to the facts.

Ms. Rickford, Derek's lawyer stood up and after clearing her throat answered "Nothing to add, your honor"

The judge immediately looked at Mr. Foster, who also stood up "I do, you honor" He cleared as Addison was just looking down so she won't see Derek's reaction after the lawyer spoke "My client, Dr. Addison Shepherd, informed me that her husband, Dr. Derek Shepherd, tried to persuade her so she would abandon the process of the division of the assets, yesterday in the afternoon, also he tried to have physical contact to her by trying to kiss her"

Derek couldn't believe that Addison told that to her lawyer, he was very surprised and couldn't believe she would do something as low as this.

"Is that true, Mrs. Shepherd?" The judge asked looking at Addison, so he could add this fact to their records and proceed with the trial

"Yes, all true your honor"

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><p><strong>AN** Sorry for ending there, I'm already working in the next one, I'll try to update this week if you review telling me what you think about this :) Do you think Addison is over reacting? Do you think she should win after this? Maybe she has a reason to act like this, who knows.. Anyway, review please :)


	6. Last Minute Changes

**A/N** Hey guys! I am very grateful for all the reviews, you are awesome! I want to apologize for not updating this story before, I suck at updating! Anyway, I was re-reading it today and this just wrote itself. I hope you guys hasn't forget about this story and I hope you like it and this chapter worths the wait. Again, I don't have a beta-reader so you'd probably find few mistakes in my writing.

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><p>It has been a week since Addison's revelation in the last trial of her divorce. A little part of her hated her for that. She didn't want things to be like this, she did want Derek to sufer for what he did to her but this was just too much. She actually didn't want her lawyer to say the judge that Derek tried to make her abandon the trial, but her lawyer just said that if she wanted to win this, she needed to use all things she could use against Derek.<p>

During this week, Derek and Addison didn't even make eye contact, he didn't want anything to do with Addison after what happened, the only saw each other at court and their lawyers did all the talk, they weren't even talking, not after that, they couldn't trust each other.

While they were still trying to solve this mess, Derek was distant to his job and even to his relationship with Meredith. She was trying to support her boyfriend during this but it seemed like he didn't even care about her anymore, this day, she decided to join him in his trailer so they could talk or at least spend an awkward moment staring at each other like they were doing lately.

"Okay Derek, I know this must be hard for you but I am your girlfriend, you should be able to talk to me or at least look at me, it's not like I am Addison" Meredith said frustrated as she was drinking a beer, sitting next to Derek who was drinking as well

"Yeah, you're right, you're not her" He simply answered lost in his thoughts

Meredith gave him a glance, confused for what Derek just said "What does that supposed to mean? Because let's face it, it's your divorce, you should be happy that you're finally cutting your relationship with Satan"

"Happy? Seriously? I am not cutting my relationship with Satan, Meredith. I am going through a painful divorce process which it's not as easy as I expected since Addison is fighting hard. Somehow I am ending my family with this, I spent the last eleven years of my life next to that woman, we spent a lot of good times together, it's not easy just cut that type of relationship" He finally spoke now upset, not really with Meredith but with the whole thing.

"If you see it that way it is hard but come on, this is what you wanted, you practically wanted to get rid of her so you can be with me, you even said to me that you were looking at me the way you should be looking at her, this is what you wanted, Derek. You shouldn't complain about this now that you're in" Meredith answered in the same tone Derek was using, she did expect this was really different. She thought once Derek and Addison get divorced, things would be easier for her own relationship with Derek, she imagined he would be bright and shinny after this and they could be a real couple and she could finally leave behind her status as the dirty mistress

"Maybe I was wrong then" He simply said, drinking the beer he had on his right hand and sighed. Meredith looked at him and she nodded, realizing something that actually surprised her since she never could see that coming

"Oh God! You're really pathetic! You can't… Oh my God!" She laughed sarcastically "You still love her, don't you? After everything she has done to you, after she cheated on you with your best friend and probably right now she is still screwing him, after what she did to you at court, you still love her? Damn, I thought you were better than that"

Derek just looked at Meredith as she spoke, he stayed quiet thinking about what Meredith just said, even if Addison did all this crap to him, did he still love her? Because if that was the case and even if he would never ever admit it, he was actually pathetic. If that was the case and if he still loved his soon-to-be-ex-wife why wouldn't he noticed it when she was still next to him? When she was trying to save their marriage? Maybe the idea of having a relationship with Meredith wasn't as good as he imagined it's be, maybe it wouldn't work out as well as it did when he and Addison started dating, after all, that was what he was looking for, he wanted to find a relationship as good as the one he had with Addison when things started, sadly just at this moment he figured it out that there was only one person that he could share what he wanted and it wasn't exactly Meredith.

Since Derek didn't say anything Meredith just shocked her head and stood up "You can't even deny it! What the hell do you want then? Stay married to that adulterous bitch and still get to screw me? I was right then, I am just the girl you crewed for being screwed!"

"I didn't say that, Mer.. You're the one who keeps saying that, I am just trying to have a moment of peace during all the shit that I am going through, if things keep going the way they are, I am loosing this land ad even this trailer, right now I could really use some quiet moment, and you saying all of this it's not really working for what I want, so if you wanna stay here, stop saying that"

"You know what? I'll make things easier to you, I'll leave, don't bother to call me or whatever. When you see me at the hospital let's keep it professional and this time I mean it, I won't be chasing you and I hope you do the same thing. It's over, you have one thing less to be worried about" After saying that Meredith took her stuff and left the trailer really angry. Derek didn't even bother to say anything, he just stayed there drinking. He knew that probably Meredith was right, he couldn't just admit it because he was too damaged at the moment and his relationship with Addison practically didn't exist anymore besides he couldn't just ignore the fact that Addison, the woman he thinks that he still love, is making his life a complete hell and he wouldn't let this go so easily. All he could do right now was finish the bottle of scotch he had saved for situation like this and get drunk to try to stop thinking about the shit he called life.

Meanwhile, Addison was in her hotel room next to Mark, she didn't know what they were at this point. He was with her every time she called her when she wasn't feeling good, he stayed next to her until she fell asleep, he was with her when she needed someone to talk, he was always _there_ for her.

"Do you realize that you're making me your girl friend?" Mark told Addison laughing a little as she looked at him confused "I get to listed to you complaining about Derek, about Derek and Meredith, about the trial and you refuse to sleep with me, that makes me your girl friend"

"Shut up, Manwhore. First I am not in the mood, you've been listening to me, I am depressed I am not feeling very well, why would you want to sleep with me? And second, it's not like you're not screwing anyone from the hospital, there's always a nurse or an intern or even a resident who are willing to sleep with Dr. McSteamy"

"Well, in that case, you're actually right. But if it worth it, you're so much better than all of them"

"I know I am" She teased Mark laughing, at least talking to him making her stop thinking for a little while

"Also… Since few weeks ago I have the feeling that there is something you're not telling me. I don't know if it's just me but I am pretty sure there is something you don't wanna talk about"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Mark." She avoided the subject as she always does when she doesn't wanna go through a very awkward talk.

"It's all I'm saying, red. Just whenever you feel like talking you know where to find me. Meanwhile I am gonna have to take a peek at Joe's bar to see if I can find someone and well.. you know"

Addison just laughed and nodded "You're such a manwhore! Go and have fun, I'll just stay here. I have to go to court tomorrow, they're finally making a decision and the divorce will be finalized already. So hopefully all of this will be finished by this time"

"Well, that's good. Besides you know that a very moody divorced lady turns me on"

"Shut up, Mark. Just go, I am fine, I am telling you, my divorce will be finished tomorrow, this war and this misery or whatever it is, it's ending so I'll be fine, just go and enjoy the random woman you find"

Mark left the hotel room, leaving Addison alone. As soon as Mark walked through the door, Addison's smiled disappear, he hated to admit it but he was right, there was something she wasn't telling him, something that she wasn't telling anyone.

Addison Montgomery-Shepherd is the best OB/GYN in the country, if someone could notice the symptoms of a pregnancy that was her. But apparently when it came to herself she wasn't that good, just few days after starting the trial, she started to feel bad, she was nauseous, pale as paper, for once she thought she was having a stomachache but normally that would go away in few days. But it's been weeks and she's still having those symptoms, besides the fact that just a couple days ago she just realized she was a couple weeks late, she tried to find a reasonable excuse for this but there was only one answer.

She even brought two home-pregnancy tests, but she didn't want to take them, not just yet, if she took it and it was positive she would have to deal with the fact that in somehow she was carrying Derek's baby, it wasn't possible it was Mark's, they started to sleep together about two or three weeks ago, it'd be early to start showing symptoms, she knew it would be Derek's, somehow the few times they had sex during the last days of their lives as a couple, they managed to create a baby, there is was no way she could tell this to Derek because they already hate each other, she is taking everything from him, it couldn't be positive and if it was it would be too complicated.

And if it was negative, she would be relief at some point, things would be easier for both, she would have so save a very awkward conversation which includes telling your ex-husband that you're expecting his baby during the resolution of their divorce. But very deep down, Addison thought, this would be Derek's baby, all she has ever wanted, but this wasn't just the time. _Damn why didn't this happen few months ago? _She thought. She needed to face the truth so she could make a choice.

Although a little part of her started to imagine how this presumed baby of hers and Derek would be and she knew it would be perfect. With the best parts of her and Derek, maybe his hair with her eyes, hopefully her nose and his personality except for the arrogance, of course

Also if she was having a baby, she had to tell her lawyer, after all Derek would be the father and he would have to know about this, they would have to set a custody arrangement and everything a child of divorced parents does. She did some research on her iphone, about divorce trials when the woman is pregnant. She was surprised to find out that in almost all of this cases, the trial was suspended until the baby was born, that was another complication to her, since the divorce was going to be done by tomorrow morning.

She took a long breath and decided to do it, she went to the bathroom and pee'd in both sticks. She waited the longest five minutes of her life to see the results. She slowly lifted both sticks to see them, with her hand almost shaking and in the minute she saw it she had an expression that no one would be able to read. Both sticks had the same result, there was no doubt that they were right.

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><p><strong>AN** Sorry for ending there! You'll find the results of the test in the next chapter! What do you think? Is it possitive, negative? Or it might be something else? Review and tell me what you think! I am gonna try to update soon, I promise :)


	7. I have nothing If I Don't have you

**A/N**: Hey guys! I really wanna thank you for still be reading this story and for your amazing reviews. This chapter is named after the Whitney Huston song "I have nothing". I really hope you like this one.

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><p>The next day, Derek was very early in the municipal court of Seattle, both with his lawyer who was really anxious to hear the final verdict of this trial after all the proofs they had shown during the process. Derek's lawyer knew she had a good case, they could had the possibility to win, they wanted to win this painful fight and today was the day when it'd be all over. But also they couldn't deny the fact that Addison and her lawyer also had a good case.<p>

Mr. Andrews, Addison's lawyer also was there early, he even greeted Mrs. Rickford, Derek's lawyers as he always did with his colleagues. He knew that after his latest announcement in the previous trial, they had a very huge chance to win, he was excited that he could get another success to his office. Everything seemed good for him, except for the fact that his client, Addison Shepherd, hasn't shown up yet

Apparently the only people in there who seemed happy because of the trial was coming to its end was the lawyers. Either Addison or Derek were excited to put an end on this and enjoying the loser's failure. They were too busy with their very messy thoughts to start thinking about which one of them would win the assets they were fighting for.

Derek, couldn't stop thinking about the conversation he had with Meredith the night before, he thought he would feel sad about that since she practically ended their relationship, he could even say that at this moment he couldn't care less about it, that was too much to deal with at this moment and probably that was just for the better. At this moment he could only think about this finally coming to its end and get the chance to finally face Addison without any kind of legal consequence.

Lost on his own thoughts, Derek start to look for Addison with his sight, he realized it was at least fifteen minutes late and that she would have to be there by now. He asked his lawyer if she knew anything about his soon-to-be-ex-wife but she didn't answer.

He started thinking if something would have happened to her, Addison was not the kind of person who likes to be late for this kind of stuff. When they were in their best years of marriage, she even made him leave the house half hour early so they won't be late anywhere. Without even notice it, Derek smiled once again remembering the good times with Addison. Gosh, how he missed those days! Right now if he could he would just go back in time to stay the way they were back then.

Several minutes later, almost an hour late, Addison finally arrived to the Court, she was wearing her very huge black sunglasses matched with a black dress, looking very elegant to be the day of her divorce, for Addison it was normal. She didn't even notice that she was late for the trial, she just went straightly next to her lawyer and started talking to him.

As soon as she went there, Derek looked at her, normally everyone would expect he would hate to see her, especially during a day like this one but at the moment he knew he didn't hate her. It was impossible to hate her even if he was calling her Satan or even an Adulterous bitch. The fact was that even when he tried, he just couldn't stop staring at her. Mrs. Rickford, noticed Derek's glance to Addison and quickly shocked her head

"If you wanna make this work and get what you want, you need to stop that. This is why I constantly asked you if you were sure about this. So now you have to focus that we need to win this. Forget about her and concentrate on yourself, okay?" She told her client, in a very confident tone. There was nothing Derek could do about this, after all, his lawyer was totally right.

"What took you so long? You know that we can lose for things like this?" Mr. Andrews told Addison as soon as she sat next to him. "We've been doing a great job, Dr. Shepherd, but until the judge says his verdict, we have nothing for sure" The lawyer continued but Addison didn't seem like she was paying attention to him, she seemed to focus on her own thoughts.

"I am here, today's the last day of this thing, hopefully your next clients will be better than me so let's just keep it quiet until this is all over" She simply admitted as she crossed her arms and cleared her throat, looking like she wanted to leave that place running, she didn't want to be there, not today, not anymore

"Dr. Shepherd, with all due respect but are you okay? Is there anything wrong? Because if that's the case we can postpone this" The lawyer asked, even though this process was difficult, Addison was always very polite when it came to her lawyer.

"I am perfectly fine I just wanna end this already. Now, how long until I can get out of here? I have a lot of things to do at the hospital"

"As soon as the judge finish talking you could go, with or without your assets"

Before Addison could answer her lawyer, the judge made his entrance as he was announced Addison just sighed and rolled her eyes, she was actually grateful that the judge came out at this moment since she didn't want to start fighting with her lawyer on their last day of trial for no reason.

After saying a very long and legal talk, the judge proceeded to say his final decision about The Shepherds case. He started to read some facts presented during the process. Facts that made him take the decision he was about to say.

"…The parties were marriage in the State of New York and lived for twelve years as husband and wife. The parties have no children in said marriage. Given the testimony, Dr. Derek Shepherd and Dr. Addison Shepherd declared during this process, including adultery admitted by the parties, although it's not shown and irreconcilable differences. According to the laws in the State of Washington, I concede the dissolution of the marriage, they have been heretofore separated and ceased to live as husband and wife, and they are now agreed to live apart. The personal property of the parties will be divided as follows, and Dr. Addison Shepherd will get the Brownstone in the State of New York and Dr. Derek Shepherd will get the propriety of the Hamptons, as regard of the land in Seattle, you'll sell it and you'll split in the middle the pecuniary resources you'll get for it. According to the laws in the State of Washington, I concede the dissolution of the marriage, they have been heretofore separated and ceased to live as husband and wife, and they are now agreed to live apart…."

After hearing what the judge decided, they were actually surprised, well, at least Derek, he really wanted the land in Seattle and he didn't want to sell it just like the judge said. Addison couldn't help but laugh in silence since none of them got the land in Seattle, for one moment she forgot about everything on her mind and allowed to enjoy this moment, even though they got pretty much the same, at least Derek didn't get his land.

Derek on his side couldn't believe this decision and just sighed in resignation, besides, he got the house in the Hamptons, he hated that place, the only reason they got that place was because Addison loved to spend their vacations in there. But the fact was that he never liked it and ironically, now it's all his.

And besides the fact that she found funny that Derek got the place he always hated, she wasn't as happy as she expected, besides this just didn't feel right, in the moment she walked in the court, she had to tell her lawyer she is pregnant, it's not like she could hide it in few months. She took the home-pregnancy test and both were positive, this morning, the reason she was late was that she was at an appointment with her OB/GYN to confirm the obvious, she found out that she was already two months pregnant and even heard the heartbeats of her baby. After finding out that she was actually carrying her ex-husband's baby, she decided she didn't want to delay the trial because of this, it was just better if she kept the secret so things will be done. Of course, she knew that this would have its consequences but she just wanted this to finish as soon as possible. She took that decision, knowing that this would probably kick her in the ass one day, she knew that now she just couldn't tell Derek about this, which is something she thought she'd never do but if she wanted to finish this trial, this was her only option.

Few minutes later, they were leaving the court knowing they wouldn't have to get there never again, at least not because of their divorce. Derek saw Addison and decided to talk to her before she left.

"So, can we have a decent conversation now with no lawyers include and me not trying to persuade you?" He said ironically since that was what Addison's lawyer told the judge against Derek

"If the judge wasn't clear enough, you should know that we don't have the obligation to talk anymore, so please, respect that and leave me the hell alone" She answered as she wouldn't stop walking to leave the court.

"Come on, Addie. You get the Brownstone and practically the half of my land in Seattle and you're still mad? I got The Hamptons which you know how much I hate it, still I am willing to be civilized with you"

"Okay, first, do not 'Addie' me and second, I do not want to be civilized with you, I'd rather to ignore you if I see you at work and if we get to work together, let's keep it just like co-workers and being the greatest doctors we are" She told him, try to avoid him as much as she could because if she actually talk decently to him, she would say something about her pregnancy

"Why are you acting like this? I mean, this is what you wanted! You got what you wanted, what now?" He asked confused to see her act like this.

"You wanna know what happen? You! You cheated on me, you treated me like shit under your shoes, you were clearly fooling around with Meredith while I really wanted to make it work with you and still you get to call me Satan and you're the poor Derek being pity and I am the bad guy. I can't just stand it anymore and you know what? I don't have to because we're divorced!" Derek jus sighed and didn't say anything, he actually didn't know what to say because he knew she was right. "Okay, then. Good luck in your life Derek Shepherd" She said as she started walking away, she put on her sunglasses back as a tear was dropping of her face, _this is for the best, _she repeated to herself as she was getting in her car.

Few hours later, Addison was at the hospital going to Richard's office, she knocked the door and walked in there, as soon as she saw Richard she faked a smile as the older man was sat on his chair behind his desk.

"Are you okay, Addie? I heard about the divorce" Addison simply shook her head as she gave him a letter. Richard just looked at her confused and just look at the piece of paper Addie gave to him.

"What the hell is this?" Richard asked very surprised for this since he didn't expect it "I am not taking this"

"It's my letter of resignation; I can leave with or without your blessing. Either way, I am going, Richard"

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><p><strong>AN**: So, what do you think? It's getting hard for Addison and Derek, huh? What do you think it'd happen next? Again, I should be studying Civil Law but instead I am writing this, so please review! lol


	8. It's all coming back to me now

**A/N**- Once again, thank you so much for all your reviews, I am glad that you're into this story. Some of you were asking me about The Alimony in Addison and Derek's divorce, when a divorce is granted, either party may ask for post-marital alimony. It is not an absolute right, but may be granted, which means one of the parties would have to ask for it. Since I think Addison is wealthy enough, I don't think she would ask an alimony from Derek, she would only fight for the propierties that belonged to both of them.

This chapter is named after a Celine Dion song "It's all coming back to me now" it's a little longer than the others. I hope you enjoy it.

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><p>Since the moment Addison Montgomery-Shepherd left Seattle, she knew that it wasn't her smartest decision. She was walking away, this was Derek's thing, when things got complicated on their marriage he walked away from their problems, it's what he did best. But now that they're officially divorced, she was the one walking away. She was conscious that it wasn't fair for the baby growing inside of her and not even for Derek, he deserved to know that he would be a father in few months but for Addison, if she would tell him anything he might choose her once again only because of the baby and she wasn't just able to resist being an obligation to her now ex-husband again. She would have to tell him at some point, probably the baby will be a mini-Derek and she would be forced to face it. But now, the only clear thought on her mind was walk away from Seattle, walk away from Derek and from all the drama in the Seattle Grace, knowing that if she stayed there she wouldn't be only Satan; she would be the adulterous bitch who would be forcing McDreamy to stay with her with a McBaby.<p>

So she decided to leave, in one night she packed the few things she had on her office and all of the things she had in her hotel. She thought that she would feel better because of her decision but it only made her feel worse, not physically but emotional, not mentioning that the hormones caused by the pregnancy wasn't helping her through this. She packed everything, her cloths, her uncountable pair of shoes and even some stuff that belonged to Derek that she didn't know what to do with them. While she was almost ready to go and waiting for the room-service guy to help her with her luggage, Mark showed up on her room as he usually did every night.

"So, the nightmare is finally over, red! Congratulations!" He walked to the room with a huge smile on his face and with a bottle of red wine on his hand knowing it was Addison's favorite and two glasses, thinking they could make a toast, get drunk and that he might get lucky since Addison had been shouting him down every night since the trial started, now that it was over they might get to do what they're best for. But Mark's smile suddenly went away when he saw the suitcases on the floor "Wait, what is happening in here? Did I miss something? Did Derek tell you to leave? Because if he did I swear I'd kill him, he's not your husband anymore, you don't have to listen to him…" Mark started but Addison interrupted him before he continued

"No, this isn't because of Derek. This is because of me. I can't stay here, I can't just stay here and see another woman getting everything I wanted from the man I love, I am not strong enough to stand there and enjoy Derek and Meredith's happiness all over the place. This trial took almost all my strength, this is the best I can do and whatever you are gonna try to say, it's not gonna make change my mind" Mark looked down while Addison was speaking and simply nodded.

"Do you realize I moved here because of you, right? I thought it was more than a booty call, I thought once you and Derek were finally divorced you and I might try something, you know?" Mark said looking a bit disappointed and Addison just sighed as she sat on the edge of her bed.

"I am sorry, Mark. I really am, it's just that... It's been a lot during this year for me and even for you. Besides we tried to work out as a couple and we both know it didn't end up so well. Here in Seattle you're like this Plastic God and you're gonna be really good in here, you don't need me" Addison said looking at the bottle of wine on Mark's hand. She would love to have at least one single drink of that bottle, but she knew she couldn't so she would just torture herself watching it

"What if I do need you?" Mark insisted as he sat next to her stroking her thigh

"Mark, I am going, okay? I need a new life that doesn't include anyone of my life in New York and the mistakes I've done, and that includes you. Derek's here, you should just talk to him after all he's your best friend, your friendship was something really strong and you shouldn't let loose that, besides I know that he really needs you in this moment, he needs his best friend and I can't take that away from him"

Mark didn't say a word, he looked down for a moment and then looked at Addison right in the eyes.

"Look, it's okay. I've already told you, because we failed as a couple it doesn't mean we can still be friends"

"With benefits?" He teased smiling her, he knew that things were complicated in Addison's life at the moment so he would just agree with her even though he didn't want her to go but it was what she wanted.

"Don't push it, Manwhore" Before Mark could answer the room-service guy arrived and took Addison's suitcases to take them to the lobby.

"At least can I ask where are you going? I heard you've got the brownstone, if so I wanna get my bike back, I left it there, remember?"

"Yeah, well you should get a new bike, I can assure you, I am not going back to New York, too many memories" Actually, New York was Addison's first thought, it was easier to be there. But as she was telling Mark, they were too many memories, every place in that city, brought her memories of her and Derek and how their marriage started to fall apart, she couldn't just go back there. "When my divorce started, I talked to Sam and Naomi, the offered me a position in their practice and I know I am not used to work like that but I could really use a change, I need this change for my own good and for my ba.." She stopped talking knowing that it was too much information already "I just need change things in my life since the way I've been doing didn't turn our pretty well" She smiled once again and kissed Mark on his cheek. "Take care, Manwhore" Without saying anything else, she walked off the room and few minutes later she left the hotel and went straight to the airport to take the first plane out to Los Angeles.

She knew Mark was right, working in a Private Practice wasn't her style of life. Being a double-board certified neonatal surgeon, she has always been working on a hospital performing surgery after surgery. Now in this Practice, luckily she would have a single patient during the day and she could really use this. Now that she would be a single mother, she could really use more free time that her very busy schedule in the hospital.

She couldn't stop thinking about Derek, for the first time in her adult life she was taking this huge step without him. This was definitely not how she planned having a baby with him, every time she pictured that image, things were a lot different than the reality she was living.

After few hours of flight, Addison arrived to LA, she went straight to a very nice hotel Naomi recommended her for Addison to stay until she finds a place to live. She took a long shower and got ready to go to the Practice and meet all of her new co-workers. While she was getting dressed, she couldn't help but seeing her belly in the mirror and even though she wasn't showing and the fact that there were a lot of reasons for her not wanting this, she smiled knowing that hers and Derek's baby was in there.

Meanwhile in Seattle, Derek arrived to the hospital without his particular McDreamy smile, actually he was very grumpy, since he just spent the night in some apartment he rented now that he had to sell his land and trailer. But this wasn't what was really bothering him, neither was the fact that he and Meredith broke up since he was starting to realize that all he always has wanted was Addison, only that his anger didn't let him look beyond that.

He was decided to talk to her and try to be civilized, so he went to the Neonatal area of the hospital trying to find his former wife, but what he didn't know was that Addison didn't work there anymore.

"Excuse me, have you seen the other Dr. Shepherd?" He gently asked one of the nurses wearing pink scrubs, that's how he had always recognized the persons who work with Addison.

The nurse looked at him surprised since she, just like every other nurse in the SGH, knew everything what happened between him and Addison. She was surprised that he was asking for Satan. "Uh.. She's not… Wait, you didn't know?"

Derek looked confused for the younger woman's answer, it wasn't a difficult question after all "What should I know? Can you tell me where she is or should I ask another person?" He asked again. He would page her but he knew that she wouldn't answer.

"Sorry, I just thought you knew since you two were… Well, you know… She left the hospital last night" The woman answered as Derek's expression was even more confused

"What do you mean that she left? Where is she?"

"I- I don't know Dr. Shepherd… All I know is that she left, she's not longer working here" The nurse's pager began to sound "See? We're meeting her replacement… I- uh- I have to go, Dr. Shepherd" The nurse ran his way out of the halls leaving Derek standing there.

He didn't know how to feel about this, normally an ex-husband would be relief if his ex-wife left the place where they worked together. But this sensation of guilty, sadness and even anger came to him, he was used to be with Addison, even now that their divorce is filled and complete, he thought she would always be around so he could see what he lost. But now she's not there he could help but have all this feelings coming back to him.

He immediately turned back and went to Richard's office. The older man was sat behind his desk apparently doing some paper work, he lifted his sight when he heard Derek was in there and took of his glasses.

"Where is she!" Derek shouted as he sat in front of him. Richard looked very calmed as usual and simply looked at him

"She must be working, you should ask Dr. Bailey, Meredith is her intern, not mine. Now is there anything you wanna tell me or you're just gonna be standing there for the rest of the day?" Richard said as his sight went back to his paperwork.

"You better than anyone know that, Meredith is not the _she _I am asking for!" He continued raising his voice, filled with anger and sadness.

"Addie? She left, she said she needed a change and she gave me a resignation letter. It's not your obligation to know about her anymore, so that's all I can tell you"

"Oh, you can't tell me? Right, this is how you work, first you hire my wife to work here without my knowledge, I don't know why would you tell me if she leaves. Thank you, Richard" Derek responded very sarcastically as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"She's not your wife anymore and I am really sorry but I can't tell you where is she… Please close the door in your way out"

At the same time, in LA, after meeting her co-workers and a very long talk, catching up with Naomi, she told her everything that she was going through. After spending almost a year on Seattle and have no one to talk to, Addison was actually enjoying having this conversation with her best friend.

"I can't believe you went through all of this, Addie. I should've call you more often, you know? To check on you and probably kick Derek's ass" Both women laughed for few seconds "Anyway, are you getting any prenatal care? Because you might not be telling Derek, which I think is really stupid, but I am not gonna let you go through this alone" Naomi told her friend trying to help her a little.

"It's okay, Nae. That was the best choice. And I haven't found an OB here in LA, I mean, I went to one in Seattle, he confirmed the pregnancy, made an ultrasound, then it was the trial and now here I am"

"Okay, then until you find an OB, I am doing the job and I'm not taking a 'no' as an answer, so If I were you, I would get up of that chair, come to the exam room and let me see how's your baby doing so I'd be familiar with him or her" With no much insistence, Addie agreed to have the ultrasound and get to see her baby, while she was going there and getting in the stirrups she couldn't help but remember when Derek and her actually talked about having babies and how much they wanted a family

**FLASHBACK- NEW YORK, 1996**

It's been now two years since Derek married Addison, they already had their Brownstone, they were in the middle of their residencies but they always find time to be with each other although they both had to be at the hospital almost all the time, they were Addison and Derek and they wouldn't let their very busy schedules would fall them apart.

This day, Derek was on-call all night long and he was going back home very tired where his wife was expecting him. Even when all he wanted was take a long bath and sleep until his pager started to sound again, he was actually looking forward to see his wife.

Once he got home, he called her name since the front door. He started looking everywhere down the house but he didn't get a response, he went upstairs and sighed relief when he saw his wife was sleeping covered with their Italian shits. He smiled a little and went to join her in bed, as soon as he got there, he embraced her and kissed her neck very softly. She started to open her eyes and met over his "Hey, you're home!" She said with a soft smile as she kissed him.

"I just got back, I'm sorry I woke you up… How are you, honey? Are you feeling better?" He asked a little worried since it's been almost a week now that he notices Addison different, like she would be sick.

"I am good, I could be better though" Addison confessed as Derek placed his hand on Addison's forehead but she didn't have fever or anything.

"Addie, I know we haven't actually talk about this but… Has it cross your mind that there's a tiny little chance that you might be pregnant?" He said smiling looking at his wife with his bright eyes.

Addison opened her eyes as much as she could, because she actually haven't thought about that, she was an OB resident, she should know about this "What? No, I mean, no… For starters, I've been taking my pill and…" Before she could continue Derek interrupted her

"You know those aren't a 100% sure" Addison just gave him a glance and continued "No, besides if I were pregnant I would have to be late and I remember my last period was…" She stopped talking and looked at Derek almost shocked "Oh my God"

Derek smiled and held his wife's hands "Are you okay with this, Addie? I mean, a baby? Us, being parents? Before you start talking I gotta tell you, since the moment I proposed you, I had this picture in my head of us and four kids running around us"

Addison couldn't help but laugh and raised an eyebrow "We are gonna have four kids?"

"Yes, we are. Two black-haired girls with my eyes and obviously your nose, which I am gonna spoil as long as I live and I am sure they would love to go shopping with you and other girl stuff, and two little redhead boys, I am so taking them to fish with me and I am sure they are gonna love you and won't ever complain about a trout" As Derek talked about their future children, Addison smiled the whole time feeling incredibly luck for marrying this guy who already has a future planned for them.

"Really? You thought all of it? And by the way, my children are obviously complaining about trout because they would hate it as much as I do"

Derek smiled and kissed his wife's forehead "We'll see…. All I want is that future with you, Addie. It's what I've always wanted and you're the only woman I want to share this… Look, I had the idea on my mind that there might be a little Addie or a Little Derek in there, so I stole two pregnancy tests from the hospital just in case you wanna know" He wasn't proud of saying that he stole this from the hospital but if the result was positive, the last thing he was gonna think was that he stole that.

"Okay then, let's do this… I do wanna find out! I mean, this could change our life, right? I mean, a baby! A baby made by you and me, this has to be good!" Addison answered a little excited, after listening the family Derek planned for them to have she could just wait for the time when they would start working on it and now there was a chance that the dream of Derek could start.

He went for the two sticks and gave them to Addison who now seemed a little nervous, she went to the bathroom and pee'd in both of them. After waiting the eternal five minutes it was time to see the results, but sadly for both of them, it was negative. Few tears ran through Addison's face as she showed Derek how their dream went away.

"Hey, it's okay, Addie" He said as he hugged his wife who was really excited because of everything he said about their kids and now the possibility was gone "We weren't even trying. This is gonna be really good, okay? We are gonna start trying until we have our baby, only because it didn't happen the first time, doesn't mean that we are gonna quit, remember? We're Derek and Addison…"

"And we don't quit…" She completed as she got lost on her husband's arms.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"Addie, are you listening to me?" Naomi asked watching the image of the baby on the monitor, noticing something that might not be good, she had that concerned look on his face, the one the doctors always uses when there is something wrong. The same look Addison always use with their own patients

"I'm sorry…" Addie started to worry when she noticed Naomi concerned look "What happen, Nae? Is-Is there something wrong? Because the last time I checked everything was okay!" Addison was freaking out, acting like a patient who doesn't know anything about prenatal care, she was trying to read the ultrasound herself but her nervous were stronger than her knowledge "Naomi! Please tell me what happens to my baby! Is it okay?"

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><p><strong>AN**- So, what do you think? You'll find out what happens to the baby in next chapter and yes, Derek will find out about his child very soon. Please review!


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